Wednesday 30 June 2010

The Day I Became "Not Young"

About all these youtube videos...

Dear Mr Dawson,

It has come to our attention that your last three blog posts have all contained youtube clips. While it is understood that directing your readers to a helpful or humourous youtube clip is often a crucial part of any blog post, it has come to our attention that your overuse of this necessity has approached the borders of common decency in this regard. Of your last three posts, all have ended with a youtube clip.

While we have no problem with the content of these clips, (The Ke$ha/Star Trek combo was most entertaining,) we feel that a soft reminder of your duties to the blogosphere are in order. Please buffer your life changing videos, (we need more Old Spice!) with more idle talk about that-funny-thing-what-happened-in-Tesco, or the weather.

If you do not head this warning, swift action will be taken. You connection to youtube will be severed in the only way we, the ConDem Gov't know how - by turning off all the internet! All of Britain will suffer from your short-sightedness! When ordinary citizens are forced to play FIFA against the dull and predictable AI, and have to wait eight months for brand new Futurama to cross the Atlantic Ocean to UK television, hopefully then you will learn your lesson.

You have been warned.

Yours,

Jeremy Richard Brian Streynsham Hunt
Secretary of State for Culture
ConDem Allegiance of Evil

Tuesday 29 June 2010

Old Spice

The majority of adverts are soul sucking time sinks that eat away precious minites of your short life. Some are genius.

SWAN DIVE!

Sunday 20 June 2010

Star Tik Tok

When you were younger you were taught that adding two and two makes four. This is true.

Sometimes, however, adding things does something strange. Two and two become more than four. They become greater. They become... AWESOME!


Thursday 17 June 2010

Futurama

So, in case you have not heard, there are new episodes of Futurama coming. And they are now just one week away! If you were wondering, it's moving from Fox to Comedy Central in the USA, which will hopefully turn out to be no bad thing. Best of all, all the original voice-cast are back, even tho' that looked unlikely at one stage. Woo-hoo!

These are going to be the first new episodes for seven years, so as you can imagine, I cannot wait.

There is some justice in the world after all.

Saturday 5 June 2010

Float Out review

Serenity: Float Out is a one issue comic, set after the movie Serenity, and "expanding" upon the character of Wash. I put expanding in quotations because of how spectacularly it fails to do this.

In this comic, three new characters are about to christen their new ship, when one of them mentions Wash, who has recently died. They spend five pages standing there, expositioning at us about their new ship, which is pointless as these characters are ones we have never seen before nor will ever seen again. They have no personalities, and these pages do nothing for the story. This exposition is very bornig, and what makes it worse, it is the most predicatble backstory imaginable. It just feels like padding.

Then these guys decide, for literally no reason, to share stories about Wash. They take it in turns to tell a story which makes Wash into Jesus. (If Jesus were the pilot of a spaceship. Which he surely will be after the second coming. But I digress.) While this, kind of, makes sense for people reminiscing about a dead friend, but it does nothing for the reader. It just makes these stories less usefull for connecting us to Wash.

In the first story Wash pulls off the impossable, literally, in order to escape some Reavers. In the second, Wash pulls off the impossable, literally, in order to escape some Pirates. In the thrid he dumps his smuggled cargo so a friend can escape a trap.

This is really boring.

Wash does things out of character. He was makes jokes when the real Wash would be serious, due to haviing to concentrate on the whole not dying thing. He pulls stunts that the real Wash would know are impossable. The story does not develop Wash, it just has three guys tell us he was a great pilot. It does nothing to build him as a character, or devlop him in anyway. And it is really boring. This comic is a huge let-down.

This is what I hate about post-cancellation Firefly. You cannot just stick the name to it and call it Firefly. It goes deeper. Serenity was a great sci-fi film, but it was not Firefly. It was clearly not in the same 'verse.

If everyone is just gonna act out of character, then what is even the point of using those characters?