On Zero Dark Thirty

Zero Dark Thirty is a movie almost entirely without merit. It is a slow, dull recreation of a true story which offers no commentary on the events that took place.

The facts are these. The United States of America undertook a ten year long manhunt, rooted in revenge and fear. They tortured to get names, and then captured and tortured more for more names. They eventually discovered a fortified compound, and after much deliberation, stormed the compound in the middle of the night to kill three men who were sleeping with their families whilst those at home cheered them on.

All of this is presented as distinctly unglamorous. The people undertaking the manhunt are unhappy almost all of the time, and live in constant fear and danger. Their investigation is not interesting, there are no detective leaps or great discoveries, no 'eureka!' moment or display of Sherlock Holmes level intellect. They torture people for years and methodically trace phone calls. It is not interesting to watch. There is little to no social commentary.

And I think that was the point.

The comparison that comes to my mind is between Zero Dark Thirty and Spielberg's Lincoln. Both are very long movies about key events in US History. Both share the same theme: this is how important things get done.

In Lincoln, the freedom of the slaves comes not from sweeping socioeconomic change, or from the massive war that was just fought. It comes from a dozen Democratic Congressmen who had to choose to obey or disobey party policy in one vote. That is how slavery was abolished. It wasn't all that dramatic, but in this film that's how it is done.

Both movies present that as their 'art'. This is their insight into how things really get done. What makes key events happen. And whether or not I agree (as an historian) with isolating events such as these, I think that they make for poor films. They deliberately make the incredible mundane. And as a sub-genre of Historical Drama, I find myself liking this approach less and less.

There is almost nothing to recommend about Zero Dark Thirty.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

I just rewatched the first half of The Hobbit, and it’s quite the mess. Truth be told, I think it does come together by the end, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to watch it all in one sitting.

It's hard to pin down exactly what'd ruins the early sections of the movie for me. The "wizard" with bird shit in his beard, who drives a sled pulled by rabbits, is a prime choice for the worst bit. But what really did it for me, and made me actually up and rage-quit, was the scene where the trolls are making constant fart and snot jokes, being the dictionary definition of "mild peril" like this is goddamn Ice Age 5 or Madagascar 6 or Cars 4 or whatever cheap hackney kids movie is in theatres now.

The fact it takes forever to get started, and that Martin Freeman makes the exact same reaction face before and after he speaks every line (hesitates, frowns and sighs,) put me in a bad mood, and then that troll scene finally did it.

However, I stand by it being a good movie. Not just a decent one, but a good one. A movie worth watching. And I got to thinking, how can a movie which deliberately wastes so much of the audience’s time be forgiven for such a thing?

After (literally) two hours of wasting time, the movie starts to come together. Gollum shows up, and afterwards there's something of a final set-peice. Those scenes are actually really great to watch, taken on their own, and truth be told they leave me cautiously looking forward to the next film. Call me a sucker and you'll likely not be wrong, but An Unexpected Journey does pick up at the end.

See, I was thinking about it, and here's the thing. The Hobbit assumes it's already won you over. It doesn't feel the need to achieve anything quickly, or really to do anything at all, because it knows you'll put up with its timewasting bullshit. And people like me do, put up with it I mean, and walk out planning to buy a ticket for the sequel. Because I'm happy to watch a band of adventuring misfits walk slowly around New Zealand for a few hours.

If you can suffer through the worst bits, which there's admittedly a constant stream of early on, and can get past the entire enterprise having the feel of the unnecessary prequel to a better movie yet to come, it does honestly start to become something different once the gang leave Rivendell. I'd say it's worth finishing.

It’s just that The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is hard to love.

2013 and the Months of Bad Movies.

In case you hadn't noticed, by the way, there are literally no good films out. At all. There's only stuff life GI Joe 2 and Burt Wonderstone coming out in the next few weeks, and that looks about as enjoyable as tinnitus.

This is literally the worst start to a year, in terms of movies at the cinema, that I can think of.

For example, through these first 12 weeks of 2013, it’s been a miserable time at the box-office. To quote my go to movie website these days, 'There have been only two legitimate box-office hits: Oz the Great and Powerful (us$145 million after 10 days) and Identity Thief (us$123 million after six weeks). It’s so bad at this point that the third and fourth highest grossing films of 2013 are the forgettable Mama (us$71 million) and the putrid Safe Haven (us$66 million). Nearly every weekend this year has been met with either a huge bomb or a major disappointment." Take Jack the Giant Slayer, Bryan Singer’s massive us$200million picture, which came in at just over us$28 million. That's a worse opening than even John Carter, and it’s not alone. Die Hard 5, Gangster Squad, Safe Haven, Hansel & Gretel, Parker...


2013 blows.


(source)

Now Avatar Makes Sense...

In the movie Avatar, it turns out that all of the trees on the planet are joined in a massive godlike hivemind called Eywa - who is conincidentally the Na'vi God. So, Eywa is a planetary brain made out of all the trees of the world. That alone is quite amazing, but not divine.

Okay, so all Pandoran life hooks into her, but only plants are wired to her network full-time. Eywa liked being worshiped as a goddess and chose to use her control of the world's more primitive animals to keep the Na'vi locked in scientific and technological stasis so that they would never advance far enough in science to study her true nature and blow the whole thing. After all, when she provides them what they need, why would they advance?

Her plans hit a snag when humans came to Pandora. Here was a sentient species with technology to reach the stars and the science to figure out what she really is. These people obviously had to be gotten rid of before they could spill the big secret to the Na'vi. But she had to do it in such a way that no curious Na'vi would consider talking to or learning from the humans should they return, which ruled out a simple Zerg Rush of wildlife (which would also have risked the humans attacking from orbit).

She finds out that they are here for the Unobtanium, which is the perfect source for the conflict she needs. Eywa, in her role as Na'vi goddess, tells her people to be as uncooperative as possible. She has them spurn all offers of technology or science, and tells them to ignore the desperate need the humans have for the stuff that they're sitting on. As per her orders, some engage in low-level guerrilla warfare (such as the arrows on the truck tires). They expel the school from their village, which raises tension.

When Jake Sully arrive on the planet and becomes an Avatar, she senses in him someone bitter with humanity and fascinated by the lushness of Pandora. As a bonus, he is not a scientist. She decides that these things make him valuable as a pawn, which is why she called off Neytiri's attacking him and orders him let into the Hometree. She has him bond with animals of Pandora, perhaps subtly messing with his brain via her control of them, until he comes to feel more Na'vi than human. This has the bonus effect of distracting him from his diplomatic mission.

She needs atrocities to be sure that the Na'vi remain anti-human and anti-science. She allows the destruction of the Hometree in order to galvanize the anti-human sentiments of both her pawn Jake and the Na'vi. The naive chumps make it even easier for her by bringing her Dr. Grace to heal. Grace is the top scientist on the planet, who had been actively hunting her secret and who would have loved to reveal it if she found it; that would have caused Eywa's whole charade to crumble. And she gets to "heal" her? Perfect! As a bonus, Grace was shot by a human, so Jake's anti-human sentiments were raised even further. Dr. Grace took wounds in the chest, which shouldn't affect her mind — but they do give Eywa the perfect excuse after she absorbs the poor woman's mind. "Her wounds were too great"? Likely story. She was still alive, and her mind was intact. Nothing stopped the transfer but the fact that she would be far more useful to Eywa dead than alive. Also, to be sure that Jake further reveres her, she has Grace's hollow shell say, "I'm with her, Jake. She's real." A planetary brain that can control thousands of animals at once can control one more body (even a human one) for a minute.

Then, to ensure that all the tribes of Na'vi remember the humans only as bringers of death, she gave Jake the Toruk to gain power over them. He led them into battle, where the humans' superior technology easily slaughters them. Eywa wanted this. She needed plenty of death to get the Na'vi to hate and distrust humans forever after. A

fter she judged the slaughter to be sufficient, she commanded her mindless herd of slave-beasts to charge and overwhelm the humans. She could have done that at any time.

After that, she has the Na'vi "escort" the humans offworld. Note her insidious effect on her pawn Jake Sully: by then, he referred to his own species as "aliens". Then she transferred Jake Sully's mind to his avatar form permanently, probably performing any remaining necessary mind rearranging as well.

The plan worked like a charm. The humans are gone. The Na'vi are led by a firmly anti-human leader who deifies her. The Navi are embittered towards the humans. There is no more risk of the Navi realizing that they've been played for fools. That's right, the true villain won. You just didn't see it.

(This is an edit of a Fan Theory which blew my mind.)

X-Men: First Class - Review

The X-Men comics were always far too... well, 40 years worth of being too big and sprawling for me to ever really start reading. I know bits and pieces of the X-Men’s history. I know the cliff-notes of the Phoenix Saga and the Extinction story arc, and I’m aware of who most of the main X-Men are. Like a good Joss Whedon fanboy I’ve read his short run on Astonishing X-Men. (Although, I got thoroughly confused as to what was going on when they got to Breakworld, but then that’s another thing entirely.)

I’ve seen all the X-Men movies a couple of times each, and I even watched Wolverine when it was in cinemas, despite it being a dull and pointless waste of two hours of my life. And so I can say this with some conviction – First Class is the best X-Men movie yet.

The story is fairly simple, and right there in the title. This movie takes place in the 1960s, when the two old guys from the previous movies were young. Before they were Professor X and Magneto, they were just Charles and Erik. Two people who happened to have superpowers, which they use to help the CIA track down an ex-Nazi trying to destroy the world. And the movie takes itself just as seriously as it should with a plot synopsis as bonkers as that.

This isn’t Batman, where a serious director is trying to fit the Dark Knight into a gritty and realistic setting to deal with dark themes. This isn’t Spiderman, where we see how an ordinary guy deals with the pressures and dangers of his responsibility. It’s a fun crazy blockbuster that moves quickly, with lots of characters with superpowers that they like to show off.

The real strength of this film is the cast. All of the main X-Men are great to watch, they have an amazing screen presence, and they all have their own story arcs, which we see in this first movie instead of being teased that it might come in sequels. They aren’t making progress for progress sake, they all have reasons for being who they are, and most important of all, for becoming who they become.

It’s a shame the villains are never that menacing, and that they don’t have much to do. Their ‘plan’ is under-explained at best, and a huge plot hole if you ever think about it, and so they don’t actually do much. Kevin Bacon is the only one who actually speaks, and all January Jones does is give people cold looks.

There are some very cool action scenes, and the finale (with the submarine) is the coolest scene I’ve seen at the cinema this year. It’s not a flawless movie, it doesn’t break new ground, and it isn’t a must see. But as a summer blockbuster, it is good fun, and I don’t ask more than that.

Jonah Hex

I love it when a film you had been taking no notice of gets an incredible trailer. When you get to sit down, and watch a trailer for a movie which meant nothing to you before, but in one hundred and fifty seconds has become somehting worth getting excited about. This is that sort of trailer. Hopefully, the movie will live up to it. I can't wait to find out.

Clash... of the Titans!

So, not too long to go now until we get to watch Clash of the Titans. A 21st century remake, using CGI! Ha! Take that, stop-motion monsters! Feel the power of computerz!

What I want from this film is Greek Transformers. A battle involving an army vs 3 giant scorpions. The Kraken destroying a city. Medusa.

Oh, and the music in the second half of the tralier kicks-ass.

But, of course I do fear it going horribly wrong. It could be crazy long, boring as heel, have confusing action and just be a horrible jumble of stuff.

But... I remain cautiously hopeful.

So... remaking Spiderman

It seems that with a decade of money making superhero movies, every faliure gets a fresh attempt within a few years. They made a boring Hulk film, a few years later the angry green man gets a second chance. Fantastic Four, Daredevil, and even Superman are rumoured to be getting new movies after their last ones disspointed... somepeople.

Well, it seems that after finishing things up with Spiderman 3, using every villain imaginable in the process, they are gonna recast the thing and start again. Really? We gotta do the boring origin story stuff... again. He gets bitten by a radioactive spider. We all know already!

Avatar

So, I went to see Avatar. Y'know, that movie with those blue aliens. It was most awesome, but more on that later. See, the big thing they have been pushing for this movie is the 3D element. Hollywood likes 3D. You can't pirate a 3D film, and cinemas have an excuse to charge you more money, for the glasses, yet it doesn't cost them any extra. That immediately gets me riled; if I am paying almost double the price, it better be double to awesome. So they like to tell us 3D is amazing, that it is gonna be a revolution in film, (*sigh*), and you know what, it is kinda cool, but not nearly cool enough.

I mean, OK, so I have now seen Up in 3D and Avatar in 3D, and both films, were I given the chance to see them again, I would watch in regular old 2D. There are some nice things about 3D: every now and again you see a 3D shot which has depth, and you feel like you are looking through a window onto the movie set, as opposed to a screen, and that is all kinds of cool. Those shots are sometimes incredible. Then there the 3D people think of when they imagine "3D": y'know, a rocket firing out of the screen and into the audience, or people pointing out of the screen and into the audience. Things coming out at you. Both of those are all kinds of awesome, but truth be told, I am not sure if they actually can make a film much better. And a 3D film, bear in mind, is not constant 3D. It is a 2D film with occasional 3D shots. That is very important to remember.

One reason I just can't love 3D, is the glasses. They mess with your immersion. I get repeatedly brought out of the movie to adjust them - their one size fits all design is suprisingly fine on me for a while, but it still annoys if you wear them for too long. And their coloured lenses deaden the colours on screen, making the film seem darker and blander.

But the biggest problem 3D faces is that I start to ignore it. Yes, every now and again, an establishing shot of the scenery in 3D is very impressive, and yes, every now and again, an action scene is given a nice shot as an arrow, or something, flies out of the screen. But for the most part, I am ignoring 3D, and just trying to watch the movie. That is why I went to see Avatar. That was why I went to see Up. I wanted to watch the film.

I guess what I am trying to say is that 3D is a kinda cool idea, but that, truth be told, I still just want to see my movies in 2D. The glasses are not worth the occasional 3D shot. But most of all, 3D is not an immersive element. When I see a 3D shot, it is distracting me from the movie; for the most time my brain is just trying to ignore the 3D so I can watch the movie. It was worth seeing Avatar in 3D at the cinema, but if I don't think I am gonna seek out a 3D movie again any time soon. I have given it a fair chance, and it just doesn't seem to be better.

Oh, and Avatar. That was really, really, very good. Honestly. Except that it is far too long, has a stupidly over-the-top environmental, spiritual, theme forced upon us, and is the most predictable and under-written story ever put to celluloid. Apart from that, it is one of the most fun films I have seen in a long time.

December = Exciting Movies

So, December looks like it will be pretty awesome for movies.

1. Sherlock Holmes - man, if this movies is half as good as it looks it will be so damn cool.

2. Avatar - That movie that Cameron has been making for about ten years about humans exploring a planet liven on by blue aliens.

3. Paranormal Activity - is this new horror movies. I have never been much of a fan of horror films, but the more I hear about this the more awesome it sounds. Of course, I am trying to avoid hearing too much, for fear of spoilerz...

Sherlock Holmes Trailer

I had not been paying much attention to this, but after seeing the trailer, I gotta say it looks mighty awesome. And only about a month 'til it comes out in cinemas! W00t!

I ♥ The Poseidon remake

"Now we're not sure exactly what happened here, but our best guess is that we were struck by what is known as a rogue wave. They are rare, they are unpredictable, and they are lethal."


"Thank you, gorgeous!"
"My name.... is Valentine."
"I love that name."


"Conor! How did you get in there?"
"I don't know but the water's really high!"


"You were mayor? You know, I forgot. Big hero. Rescued all those women and children from the fires. Got elected. Man of the people. But you're not the boss anymore. Hm? You quit. Couldn't hack it. If I recall correctly, you couldn't even hang onto your wife. Come on."


[walks to poker table] "We're going downstairs now."
"Ok, have fun... Hey Jen..."
[looks down at her cleavage] "The twins? Dad..."
"Just one more button."

Will I Watch Wolverine?

So, Wolverine is out in the Cinema. I kinda wanna see it - I mean, the adverts on TV have been pretty cool. And while X-Men 3 was a total dud, the first two were fun. Maybe I should check some reviews before deciding...

And, so, some reviews are out, and they do not look good... Empire say "While not a disaster, this isn't the claws-out, rampaging adventure we hoped for." The NY Daily News gave it one star, saying the "whole thing reeks of a lack of enthusiasm". Maybe it is not great, but maybe it would be alright as a popcorn movie, something to rent or check out when it come on TV? EW back me up on this thought, they do speak of "some moments of fun."

Nevermind. I can just miss this one out for now and put all my excitment into the new Star Trek. W00T!

UPDATE - I watched it. Meh. Reviews were kinda right. Star Trek looks incredible.

Awesome Stuff

So, in the last month I have been checking up on some very awesome stuff, briefly reviewed in order of their awesomeness here.

Scott Pilgrim

Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life is the first volume of a comic about a young slacker, unemployed and in a band, who starts noticing a rollerblading delivery girl, and must defeat her evil ex-boyfriends before they can date. Naturally, it is much better than a one sentence synopsis would indicate. Simple, black and white panelling gives room for some really strong characters with some really excellent lines. It is short, you can breeze through it in 'bout an hour, but is really is incredible. So much so, I am already re-reading it.

In Bruges

Two Irish hitmen are sent to hide out In Bruges ("It's in Belgium") after a hit. This becomes a set up for an incredible movie, a wonderful black comedy with some exceptional performances, some real great characters. Lot of swearing, but not unnecessarily so. Definitely worth watching, as it really is a brilliant film.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

So, the fifty-billionth Apatow comedy of the last twelve months is about a guy who has just been dumped by his long term girlfriend, and ends up going on the same holiday as his Ex. And so we have Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Thing is, that while this is quite funny, and has some sweet moments, it is just not as good as you would hope. The plot is too formulaic and not as effecting as you would hope, and the jokes are not as hilarious as you would wish. So the film is stuck in limbo, not connecting emotionally or being outrageously funny. It is good, actually it is funny and sweet and enjoyable, but it is not a great memorable comedy to search for. Then again, Russell Brand is hilarious.

30 Rock

Ever since Friends ended I have been looking for a new sitcom. Probably even before that, since Friends had been crap for it's last few seasons. There have been hilariously funny shows, (I love watching Arrested Development or Scrubs,) but not many brilliant sitcoms. After liking, but not loving, Big Bang Theory, I decided to check out 30 Rock, the critically loved, multi-award winning sitcom from Tina Fey. And my response? Meh.

The premise is that Liz Lemon is the head writer on a SNL style sketch show, under new management. With an insane new lead, and her interfering boss Alec Baldwin, she must cope with managing the show and keeping her boss happy, while trying find love, an' all dat.

I have to say, this reminded me of some Ugly Betty meets Studio 60 crossover. Firstly, the lead character is a 30-something woman, and many of the things she worries about are really quite girly. Add to this that the show about writing and creating a TV sketch show, a premise that is not as funny as they seem to think, and the show becomes slightly harder to like, as a premise, than say... a show about two young physicists.

Nonetheless, it is funny. There are reliably a couple of good solid laughs per episode, and if this picks up it may become hilarious. I will surely check out the second series, but it is just not as funny as I had been hoping, and my search for a new sitcom continues. Next up on my serach for a new sitcom, How I Met Your Mother. Now that excites me. A lot.

Yes Man

So, I went to see the new Jim Carrey comedy, Yes Man, at the cinema. The plot is that, basically, Jim Carrey play a middle aged guy, who is conviced to say "Yes" to everything. This leads to wacky comedy, and romance, and an enjoyable, encouraging film. But, instead of reviewing the thing, I am gonna give ya a few short points for what the film did good and what the film did not do as good as the things it did good.

Good:

1. The surounding cast are all made up of people you have seen somewhere else, and liked. The romance is more enjoyable when the girl is likable. You care more about Jim Carrey's friends when you like them. This was a good thing, and made the film far more enjoyable.

2. Uh... it had... um... I guess I sorta liked it despite it's flaws. 'Cos to be honest, I liked it. Some of the scenes made you feel good, I s'pose.

Bad.

1. Jim Carrey was poor casting. Instead of the guy who can play serious roles, we have the guy who runs about a bit and pulls some faces. It doesn't kill the movie, but it stops it being as enjoyable as it should be, 'cos I cannot connect with my protagonist. Even worse, it seems to lessen the people around him. His friends become two-dimensional, and his girl becomes even more so. Infact, this point streches on as they got the relationship wrong. The film was just put together slightly wrong, and that is a big shame.

2. They sold the plot wrong. Instead it just become an excuse for Jim Carrey to have no control over what happens. Instead of being convinced to try new things and push myself as a person, I get some crap about how I can never say no, and have to watch Carrey do stupid things 'cos someone asked if he would. They just had a good idea, and seemed to be half-way to making it, before tey went in a totally different direction.

3. They insulted Marx for a cheap gag and inferred he was a terrorist. Fine, you wanna make a terroism joke, go for a terrorist. Dont target one of the most important political thinkers. It just pisses me off.

4. Making him the guy who approves or rejects loans, but recklessly cannot say no to anyone, and thus approves all loans, during a time when we are in a major economic crisis on the back of reckless lending, kinda puts a dent in this whole theory that saying "yes" to everything is a wonderful principle.

Most Anticipated Film

2008 was a great movie year, with a huge amount of fun had at the cinema. This new year, which I have been calling 2009, look set to be similarly great. Here are the films I am looking forward to the most:

1. Star Trek
I am a huge fan of J.J Abrams, and when he comes along and makes the new Star Trek movie, with a new cast and a fresh outlook, I get excited. After watching the astounding trailer, I. Cannot. Wait.

2. Watchmen
I have been reading the comic, and it is incredible. When this film arrives, it could be mind-blowing.

3. Transformers 2
When I first watched Transformers I was dissapointed. When I saw it a second time I got the point, and realised how much fun it was. Nobody makes a Michael Bay movie like Michael Bay.

Pineapple Express vs Tropic Thunder

So, this past week I have seen two comedy films. As needs to be done, I will now compare them whilst simultaneously reviewing them. That is right - Simultaneous.

Pineapple Express

This film tries to be a stoner action-comedy, and frankly it fails. I have never seen a stoner comedy that has made me a fan of the genre, and this didn't change that. The plot was crap, just awful, but it did not ever serve to produce good moments of action. The action was just boring.

So comedy? Not so much. There were very few jokes in this film, with many scenes dragging on pretentiously. Almost all of the side-characters were pointless and just terrible to watch. The gangs were pathetic, and this was a huge problem for the film, and the inclusion of Seth Rogen's character to have a girlfriend was just a bad choice. He would be more interesting and associable without a girlfriend. The fact that she was still in high-school was just an odd choice, and the fact she was miles out of Rogan's league didn't help. This left us with just the two main characters, who actually save the film with their relationship, and a guy who I deeply hate, Danny McBride. I hate him as a screen presence, he just sucks up all my laughter and goodwill in every scene he is in. So, casting was not great apart from the leads. The film had nowhere to go, plotwise, with no character development or laughs or action.

Plus, this film focuses solely on characters getting kicked in the balls. By that I do not mean, "once or twice", I mean that at least a dozen times, a character in a fight would get kicked in the crotch. This was so overused that it just pissed me off by the end.

Tropic Thunder

I went into this looking for laughs and I found none. Creating a parody of the Vietnam war film genre just does not resonate with me. I just do not care about that sub-genre either. Creating a parody of the acting process has much more potential than this showed. And again, almost every character was pointless. By that I do not mean, some characters did not advance the plot but where funny, I mean, almost all the characters were not funny, or helpful, or dramatic. They just stole screen time.

Ben Stiller did exactly the same performance we have seen before, but this time it was devoid of humour. Jack Black was terrible. Really bad and unfunny, and the other two nameless guys we absent for almost the whole film. Again, Danny McBride showed up and was a humungous black whole of terrible. That leaves Robert Downey jr, who created one of the most overrated comedy characters I have ever seen. He was mildly amusing, but not hilarious in anyway. Tom Cruise showed up in very heavy make-up, swore a lot and danced to music. That was less funny than expected. So, again, not much comedy.

Plus, this film had a really xenophobic edge to it. It was not humorous, it was uncomfortable. Hearing mild racism against the British, Australians or African-Americans does not great humour make.

Conclusion

They both were huge disappointments, but Pineapple Express was more enjoyable. Go see that, you may find some enjoyment there. Tropic Thunder was not terrible, just a waste of what it could have been.

Hancock - Review

I attempted to see this film with no idea of the reviews, so that I could form my own opinion. Sadly this was not too be, and I am aware of the kicking this film has received from critics. They hated it. At first I argued with them. But they were right.

This movie is made up of two short films. Not literally, but that is the way it plays out. The first arc, the one shown in the trailers, lasts about 40 minutes, and I should say now that it is amazing. The opening half of this film is exactly what I wanted to see. Will Smith played the character perfectly, his abilities were powerful but not overly so, and his personal problems made him an endearing character. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Then that plot ends. Will Smith has superpowers, but he is a drunk. He is not a traditional superhero. Everyone hates him, and he goes to prison to reform himself. He goes through personal changes, and comes out a hero. This takes half an hour. This is great. This, if fleshed out a bit and with a strong ending, is the film I wanted to see.

But this is not Hancock. Everything after this point goes downhill. And amazingly so. There is a twist that creates a bull-shit mythology, and destroys almost all of the character relations. I felt my enjoyment slip, as Hancock, as a movie, fell apart. And then it end, for this is a very short film. A very short film, that booth looses it message and any resemblance of entertainment.

The humour was quite funny, but not enough to make this a comedy. The action was brilliant, but based upon the same premise. Super-Will Smith beats up idiotic criminals. The plot holes are immense, and just get bigger. There are no real bad guys, and way they act defies all logic.

I cannot stress how much fun I had at the beginning of this film. I had avoided reviews, and I loved it. Then it skipped everything I wanted to see in one montage, and destroyed all enjoyment I had. The dénouement came after a half-hour, and the film that emerged after that was cringingly bad.

But I will watch this again. No matter what comes after, the opening of this film is wroth going to see. When it is cheap on DVD, or shown on T, I will tune in. But I will only watch the first half. This could have been amazing, but the film they chose to make was not the one I wanted to see. What I wanted, they skipped. So much promise. Shame.

Hancock - Preview

I am off to see Hancock in a few days time, and I am quite excited. Ever since I first saw the trailer this has looked like it will be a fun film. Will Smith with superpowers, with cool effects. That should be fun.

Deliberately, I have tried to avoid film reviews. This is because I am very impressionable. If everyone tells me something is awesome, when I check it out, I stand a better chance of liking it. If I hear something is not so good, that puts me in a bad state of mind. So I have avoided Hacock reviews like the plauge.

Big problem. Every person who I mention Hancock to responds: "Oh. That got some bad reviews, didn't it?"

And thus my plan to form my own opinion is already failing.

Doctor Horrible

Joss Whedon always manages to impress me. He is the genius behind the greatest TV show ever, Firefly. His latest project is a musical that will be shown in three parts online.

Staring the brilliant Nathan Fillion, it features a failing supervillain, Neil Patrick Harris, and his attemts to get the girl, played by Felicia Day.

Until this morning I didn't even know this existed, and I still only know the basics of what it is. It looks like great fun, and so I cannot wait for Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.

The other Whedon project is on it's way in January, and is called Dollhouse. That deserves a post unto itself.

Check out the teaser below.

Teaser from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on Vimeo.