Galavant - Season 1 Review

Galavant is a new show for 2015 on ABC and just finished a very short 8 episode first season.

I’ve always found something hilarious about musical comedy. Characters singing for no reason, with clever wordplay and some solid puns, almost always makes me smile. I love that musical episode of Scrubs, and I always look out for the re-runs of the musical episodes of Buffy, or Malcolm in the Middle, or The Simpsons. And I’m always keeping an ear open for the songs in South Park, and Futurama, and Family Guy.

But for all that, I couldn’t stand Glee. It made my skin crawl. And I’m not all that drawn to musical cinema, or theatre, or opera, or really all that much music in general. But there’s something about musical comedy that I really dig. Maybe it’s the playfulness, the light-heartedness, the fact it doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Galavant does not take itself too seriously.

In a non-specific medieval land near Valencia, the mean King Richard has kidnapped the beautiful Madalena and plans to marry her. She and Galavant were in love before this kidnapping, so he sets out to rescue her from the castle. But upon arrival he finds out that, well, she’d really rather marry the King and become his Queen.

A year goes by, and Galavant has rather given up on the whole heroism business. The love of his life left him, and so the fire has gone out of his heart. But then the King isn’t having all that great a time of it either. Despite conquering the nearby land of Valencia and taking all of their riches, he just can’t keep his new bride happy. And so the King concocts a plan to win his Queen over, to lure Galavant back into danger by forcing the imprisoned Princess of Valencia to lead our hero into a trap. Got that? Good, that’s all the plot you need to know.

The episodes half follow the misadventures that come from King Richard’s attempts to be the sort of King that everyone fears and respects, and half follow Galavant and the Princess (and Sid) on their quest. Both of these are fun to follow, neither take themselves too seriously, and they both have the dark fairy-tale edge to their stories that gives them a slight bite and stops them from being too ‘nice’.

As a tongue-in-cheek fairy-tale comedy it does a very good job. It’s funny, and there are laughs. Good solid belly laughs from puns and pratfalls and everything. But that said, it can be somewhat predictable; most episodes start with someone realising they have a problem and end with that person learning a moral lesson which solves their problem. Galavant is too self-involved; Galavant learns to appreciate others. The King worries he isn’t manly enough; The King learns his real issues are with his dead father. This isn’t a bad thing at all, it’s fun to watch and gives a good source for the comedy, but it’s not very adventurous and that makes the adventure feel tame. There isn’t much peril, and so there aren’t high stakes to the quest despite the narrative danger Galavant is in. And because the episodes always feature two separate plotlines, each plot has to be kept short. It’s the same issue that ruins Modern Family: these plots can only feel like tiny vignettes, never having the space to breathe because they’re so insecure about wearing out their welcome.

It’s harsh to criticise light-comedy for being light, especially when it is enjoyable to watch and the jokes and performances are so praiseworthy. And these short 22 minute episodes fly by and really are thoroughly good fun.

But the real draw here is the musical-comedy, and so the real effort has gone into the songs. They are the centre-pieces of the episodes. They are packed with the most jokes and they clearly took the longest to make. The longest to write and to learn and to choreograph. The most expensive as well, most likely. And as a result, they have to be used sparingly. The best feature of the show, and they are usually used to book-end the episodes, with maybe a shorter song or a brief refrain in the middle. But because of this, they don’t wear out their welcome. Just don’t expect this to be all-singing, all-dancing. It’s mostly a multi-camera comedy about a cruel King and an heroic knight.

Galavant has great charm, and it’s a worthy new show to start off 2015 brightly. It’s funny and a genuine hit. I really did feel myself looking forward to the two new episodes each week more and more. So I'm a big fan, and I'd expect most other people would be too. But by being light-entertainment it feels thoroughly lightweight, and so it’s hard to recommend it as ‘must-watch television’. Still, as I said, I'm a big fan, it's funny and has great songs, and I can't wait for more episodes.

Defiance - Season 1 Review

Imagine, for a second, that you have a birthday party to organise. For this you’ve hired a great chef to help mark the occasion. He asks for flour, eggs, milk, and icing sugar, and you look forward to the great cake he is surely cooking up. But then, when the day of the great occasion comes, there stands the master chef studiously building a sandcastle of flour and eggs, with milk for the moat and little icing sugar guardsmen on the battlements.

It’s a different idea, that’s for sure, but all you wanted was a cake, so I’m sure you’d rightly be more than a bit disappointed.

Rockne S. O’Bannon is that kind of chef. He’s the creator of Farscape, a 1990s cult sci-fi show about an astronaut lost-in-space on the far side of the galaxy. Here, O’Bannon has been headhunted by the SyFy channel to create their big new sci-fi drama, and headline their recommitment of genre television. Instead, he’s made a frontier drama about the troubles of a small town.

Sense the disappointed already? After that exciting premiere three months ago, Defiance has settled down into a weekly rhythm of a plodding anti-climax.

The characters motivations are impossible to pin down and their personalities less even than paper-thin clichés. Logan, our protagonist, is an anti-hero in the style of Han Solo or Malcolm Reynolds but he has almost nothing to do and precious little to say. At the end of the entire series I know nothing about him – is he’s smart or funny or reckless or calculating or broodish or boorish, I couldn’t tell you. He has an adopted daughter, he was a soldier in the war, and now he’s the town “lawkeeper”. But the entire show hangs on the charisma of the lead role and Grant Bowler is so bland, and the scripts so drearily written, that his presence is a void, often devoid of the slightest importance to the story or interest to the audience.

His adopted daughter is an alien, and she’s angry at the world. There is a plot about her species having telepathic and powers of prescience, but she doesn’t react to that discovery with anything more than continued gently simmering anger at the world. She sometimes tumbles into bed with the deputy sheriff, but that isn’t a plot or part of her story – it’s just something that happens.

There are other aliens in Defiance, and although that’s the main hook for the poster, in truth it’s little more than a footnote for the actual show. Aliens showed up, and their arrival sort of ended the world-as-we-know-it. In this near future, the Humans and Alien Races live side-by-side (except where they don’t. We don’t see that.) These aliens are all mostly human, the most interesting ones being too expensive to show. Apart from some cultural differences and some casual racism they may as well all be human for the needs of the story. Their uniqueness is never explored or used as part of the narrative – the largest attraction of cult classic Farscape – and so remains only to be the thin tether keeping Defiance classified as a “science fiction” show.

For example, this is the main season long story: the town of Defiance is having an election, and the mayor may not be re-elected. Meanwhile, the son of a shady businessman is engaged to the daughter of the biggest landowner, causing mild tension. But, with Aliens.

To be perfectly clear, none of this makes this a "bad" show, and I'm actually looking forward to sitting down for season 2 next year. But I couldn't recommened anyone catching up with this show as it is. This isn’t even “bad” sci-fi, but that means it can never be “it’s so bad it’s good!” sci-fi. Terra Nova or Falling Skies are bad, but they had a charm in their awfulness – like watching a bad B-movie where you enjoy mocking the characters while you watch. Defiance doesn’t have that. It’s just dull. It’s a dull frontier western about small town politics, with weak characters.

Community returns to TV!

Community started up again this month, and that’s all kinds of a good thing. Having had to cruelly wait nearly four months for the was-to-be-October-19th season 4 debut, anticipation levels for the new season were as high as could be.

Community has always been a show which is constantly changing. As Abed himself says, “I remember when this show was about a community college.” Those early episodes of the Study Group having homework assignments due for Spanish class are long gone, with neither of these opening episodes paying more than lip service to the idea the group are studying history this season. This isn’t unexpected. After introducing Omar-From-The-Wire as a biology teacher last year, the show completely wasted any potential humour hidden there. Instead, Community went off onto a wacky tangent about Troy being head-hunted by the AC Repair school. The Study Group are that only in name, and have been for a few years now, and so worrying that the new season will focus less on their College lives feels a moot point.

The reason for the extra scrutiny this time around, comes from the departure of show-runner Dan Harmon from the series. The much talked about animosity between Chevy Chase (Pierce) and Harmon, with the wrap party public spat and embarrassing drunk dial debacle, ultimately led to Harmon leaving the show and Chevy Chase sticking around for this fourth season before also parting company.

Having a show-runner leave the show is by no means the final nail in the coffin for a program often rumoured to be in danger of cancellation. The West Wing continued on without Sorkin, Larry David left Seinfeld and Amy Sherman-Palladino left Gilmore Girls. The loss of Dan Harmon may actually free the show to move in a new direction. While the tone of the show was definitely set by Dan Harmon, the characters themselves have been rather directionless of late. Shirley has been poorly used, Britta and Annie have been devoid of momentum in their personal arcs for a long time now. Last season’s over-reliance on Tory & Abed was what made this most apparent, with those two being given most of the main plots and character development.

A new season brings new opportunities for Community to grow, and with Dan Harmon moved on from the project, this could actually allow the breathing room the show needed just as it was beginning to stagnate. In some ways it reminds me of the new life which was breathed into Star Trek after Gene Roddenberry stepped down, with Berman & Piller taking over. Hopefully the tenure of David Guarascio and Moses Port will do the same for Community.

Community in Cougar Town.

So, about a month ago, an episode of Community ended with one of the characters telling an anecdote about how he was able to be an extra in Cougar Town. It was pretty forgettable.

And yet, jump forward to the season finale of Courgar Town, (a show I don't watch, but someone on the internet does,) and during a scene with two characters having a conversation at an outdoor table, there in the middle ground… is Abed.


It’s such an extraordinary pay-off to a joke. A joke is set up on one show, and the punchline is in another show, on another channel, in the next month. And as Abed had described it in Community, he panics mid-scene, and runs off the set, catching the attention of the regular characters for a moment. A nice touch.

One Year Later.

Happy One Year Anniversary of the finale of Lost.

Live together, die alone. Do not mistake coincidence for fate. Don't tell me what I can't do. See you on the other side. Whatever happened, happened. We have to go back. You make your own luck.

See you in another life, Brother.

A Fistful of Paintballs

Community have just done a second paintball episode. I had been worried, that this season finale would just be a lame attempt at trying to recapture the magic of last year. The worst of Community this year, (even though there's been only a few poor episodes), has been the writers relying on the best of last year, rehashing old plots as a crutch for a poor script.

This was not a crutch for a poor finale. This was amazing.

Community is the best sitcom of TV. By such a long way. I love this show, oh so much.

Cool Cats

Yes, that is a picture from the newest episode of Community, and yes, they are in costume as Cool Cats. I'm loving this show so much.

New TV 2010 – The Mega Review Part 5

Better With You –ABC


To be totally honest, I had very little hope for this. It is a romcom, based upon two sisters. One of them is in a long term relationship, but not married, and the other has just got engaged with a guy she’s only known for seven weeks. Oh, and there’s their parents, who’re cynical, just like all old people are. There is no introduction to a wacky neighbour, no mention of kooky friend, the pilot episode is just these three couples. And it is filmed like a standard sitcom, with three wall sets and a laugh track. It seemed like a run of the mill, totally forgettable, potentially annoyingly melodramatic, romcom. I was not intrigued. And yet it was funny.

I laughed several times. At actually funny jokes! They were pretty well set up, and they were timed just right. This sets it up to possibly be the funniest of the traditional-comedies this season. (The depressing thing is that how that is damning with faint praise.) Of course, I’m not convinced it’s really my thing. Most of the plot looks like it was draw from jokes about their relationships, and all the characters seem a bit too fond of bearing their souls to each other. And while the actors all put in solid performances, the conversations all do stick with ‘deliver exposition, pause for affect, sarcastic punchline!’ But if you are looking for a tv romcom, then this looks like it could turn out to be a pretty decent example of it. And hell, it is so very many miles better than Mike & Molly or $#*! My Dad Says.


Undercovers – NBC

Undercovers was a spy show, based upon a two married spies getting back into the business they thought they’d quit. I say it ‘was’ a show, because in the months it has taken me to get around to writing this up, poor ratings have meant it has already been cancelled. It was a light-hearted spy show, with an adventure-of-the-week style, and truth be told it seemed like a poor version of much better shows. It was not as funny as Chuck. It didn’t have the heart of Chuck. It was just not as good as Chuck. And it couldn’t complete with the more engrossing season-plotline of Nikita.

The twist was that these are two newly married spies, who slowly find out they might not know each other as well as they thought. They have a civilian life of trying to run a restaurant, which truthfully just felt like needless baggage on their spy-work. They had a handler who gives them missions and gadgets, and he was the most annoying prat imaginable. Their chemistry wasn’t that great, and I didn’t really care about them. And most of the episode took place at night, which honestly got annoying with everything happening in the dark all the time.

But this was not a bad show. It was a decently made, enjoyable spy show. It just wasn’t good enough to watch or recommend. I suppose it is a shame it has been cancelled, but honestly it comes as a bit of a relief not to have to think about watching any more of this. As I said, not because it is bad, but because I would much rather watch new episodes of Chuck or Nikita.


Chase – NBC

This is a show about US Marshalls, who track down the most dangerous, on the run, criminals. They don’t play by the rule, don’t wait for warrants, and they run about getting results, goddamnit. Annie Frost leads the team of Marshalls, which often seems to involve chasing people on foot. The pilot gives about a third of its airtime to establishing the man who is on the run, showing just how dangerous he is, and just how insane he is, but also that he has a good heart as he wants to run away with his young daughter to Mexico. I suppose some people will like it.

I hated it. It was boring, it was predictable, and it was patronisingly simplistic. I don’t begrudge anyone any enjoyment they may get from it, but I don’t see why they would. It looks set to be villain-of-the-week, and truth be told this could be a much more interesting show with genuine characters instead of placeholders, and a longer campaign of tracking a fugitive, instead of a one-a-week approach the pilot provides. Oh, and there is a far superior show about US Marshalls which started a few months ago, Justified, which means there is almost no need to care about this.


The Defenders – CBS

In all honesty, I pre-judged this show. I thought it looked like a boring law procedural about two middle-aged white lawyers in Los Angeles. Very little about that sentence summoned up any interest. And yet, this was one of the most interesting pilots of all those I have seen so far.

Pete Kaczmarek and Nick Morelli are two Las Vegas defense attorneys, but the twist the pilot takes is not over what happened, we are told fairly early on exactly who did what and why, but focuses much more on how our lawyers approach the trial and who they organise their defence. As opposed to The Whole Truth, were new evidence drives the plot, here the actual characters drive the plot. This is so much better than the way it is normally handled – when our protagonists simply follow the plot. It is actually their approach to the situation which creates the drama. As a plus, Nick & Pete are both well developed, and I would definitely be interested to see more of them as the story progresses.

However, I have still not given up my misgivings. I hope it doesn’t become too formulaic, with a case-of-the week formula that becomes too repetitive. As a legal drama, it is definitely the best of the new season, and as so it’s very much worth a look.

Mega Review - Finished!

New TV 2010 – The Mega Review Part 4

Outlaw – NBC

This is the most painfully dull show imaginable. Jimmy Smits is an American Supreme Court Judge, who is fed up with the flaws in the legal system, so quits his job, hires a team of mavericks and becomes a defence attorney. He runs about, shouting words like “indictment” and “declarant” as his team follow him around, taking it in turns to point out his plan is madness, but also that he is a genius. Both of the women seem to be deeply in love with him. It is almost like watching House, except you might actually like that show. The whole thing is so very dumb, and yet also so very boring, that when I was half way through writing this, it got cancelled.

I can’t wait to forget this even existed, and hope in vain for 42 minutes of my life back.


The Whole Truth – ABC

If you find yourself searching for a properly dramatic legal procedural, this is for you. It is interesting and well written, but its real hook is that you see the legal case from both the prosecution and the defence. What this means is that once the set up is established, we see the prosecution prepare every reason why the killer did it, and then the defence take a turn to prepare why he is an innocent man. Then we go to trial, and we see each side present their case. Just like a real courtroom. And because of this, the audience cannot be sure whether the defendant did it or do. When watching, you have to take a side, and end up with a real interest in the decision at the end, one which didn’t rely on bringing out some last minute surprise evidence.

This is interesting. It is fun. It doesn’t seem to take itself too seriously, but I didn’t see any horrible malpractice going on, especially when watched after Outlaw. But most of all, it was really interesting to see two talented lawyers actually doing their job, at such a quick pace, and working as hard as possible to win an argument without knowing from the start that they are right. But it doesn’t exactly leave room for subtlety. But the story is, so very much, the hook that the characters end up as non-people. I can hardly even remember their faces, let alone their names or their personality. And given that I have only seen snippets of Law and Order, (the obvious comparison), I am not in that great a position to say if it compares well or not.

The big problem though is just how procedural it is. There is a rigid formula for each episode I can’t see them breaking. What you see in week one is likely to be what you see in week twelve. Still, definitely worth a look, if it sounds like you’re thing.


Running Wilde – FOX

There is a fine line between a masterpiece and a master-crap. Arrested Development is one of the greatest TV shows of all time. It is hilarious, incredibly influential, and far too few people have seen it. That is a show about a dysfunctional rich family, with characters who are lovably self-centred. It could so easily have gone horribly wrong.

Running Wilde is made by some of the same people, and is an example of how wrong it could have gone.

It stars Will Arnett as a clueless billionaire, who convinces his high-school sweetheart, who is an activist, and her daughter, to move in with him. They will then surely learn life lessons, while suffering through dysfunctionaly wacky situations that in the end strengthen them as a family. But there is no humour. Literally, there is a distinct absence of jokes. It is also so very, very soulless. They are hateful characters. They are annoying, and they are just not funny. He is an entitled rich berk who is completely unrelatable, and she is an annoyingly shrill lover of nature. There is a kid, who is nothing, and so is not worth considering.

This is only worth your time is you believe the pedigree of the writers can save the show. And I would understand if you hold out hope that they might. But this pilot was a horrible mess, and if the Dollhouse fiasco taught me anything, it is that sometimes a bad idea is just a bad idea, and no amount of talent can salvage that.

Just watch Arrested Development again.


Raising Hope – FOX

At first, I thought I was not going to like this sitcom. There were not enough jokes, and I was put off by the darker tone of it. And uneducated, white-collar 20-something, with the help of his family, has to take care of a baby he was unprepared for. But then I realised, it is not a sitcom, it is a black humoured drama. And suddenly everything changed. Things which had felt like padding, now felt like characterisation. The tone started to warm, and I realised I was invested in finding out what happens next.

The plot is that about Jimmy, who lives with his poor parents, working as a gardener for the rich families nearby. He has a one night stand with a girl who hitches a lift in his van. She turns out to be a serial killer, and she also turns out to be pregnant with his baby. Nine months later, the mother is in the electric chair, and Jimmy is stuck with a baby he did not expect. That exposition out of the way, he tries to live his life, while learning how to be a dad to his new daughter. He has help from his eccentric family.

The show has some genuine hilarious moments, and I would like to see where it goes. I would want to watch next week, to give this more time to make an impression, because this is the best half-hours comedy of the season. It helps that Shannon Woodward has a role as the potential love-interest, and she was amazing in The Riches. It is worth a look, even though I am sill unconvinced of how good it will become.

New TV 2010 - The Mega Review Part 3

Boardwalk Empire

I was thinking about it a couple of months ago, and realised there was a distinct lack of modern show based on prohibition-era gangsters. “Man” I thought, “That would be a cool show to watch. A show with tommy guns, and flappers, and spats. Oh, and imagine if it had Steve Buscemi!” Well, it turns out that HBO pre-emptively read my mind. Set in 1920 Atlantic City, this is everything you could want from an HBO drama. By which I mean it has characters whose motives are complex and who got some of that ‘inner turmoil’ stuff. It is easy to call it The 1920 Sopranos, but with a half-dozen plots set up and several key characters, this first episode is much more an introduction to a bigger story than a standalone piece. It is fairly slow, as you could expect the beginning of a complex saga to be. HBO shows usually are slower, but since they usually build to something later on, it makes is harder to judge this early.

It helps that Buscemi looks to be an amazing main lead. He plays the treasurer of Atlantic City, and since he is not a straight up gangster, there’s the whole larger question of how good or evil he is, compared to if he was a straight out crimelord. One other thing about this show, which I loved, but might get annoying if overdone, is how faithful it is to the period. Though it could easily go too far, and descend into, ‘look at me! I’m in the 1920s! I can talk about votes for women!’

This is a great show, precisely the sort of thing HBO specialises in. If this is the sort of thing you think you might like, chances are you will love this. But it is not as mainstream as say...


Hawaii Five-O

Later that day I was thinking, “I would love to see an old-school, buddy cop show.”
This is a remake of a show from the 70s, set in Hawaii. It follows an elite police task force, mainly centred around the leading cops, Steve McGarrett and Danny Williams, as they share some witty banter and investigate crimes. Steve is following the trail of his father’s murder, and it looks like that will take the back seat as each episode follows the pair as they try to solve crimes.

It doesn’t feel like anything original, it doesn’t feel like must-watch-television. The pair have some quick witted dialogue between them, and the crimes are interesting. There are some fun shoot-outs, and it is all very well filmed. It is what it is, and it didn’t make any attempt to push itself further than what it was. If you want to watch a buddy cop procedural, then this is for you. It is exactly what you want. You don’t have to tune in every week, or pay attention to every little thing that happens, but it is a good show worth your time.


Outsourced

Then I thought to myself, “what if we had a sitcom based solely upon cultural differences. One where a young middle-management dude has to move to India, when his office is outsourced there?” No, hang on, wait, I never thought that because it sounds like a horrible idea.

Seven minutes in there is a joke about how curry makes you poop. Before this, there was a joke about how an Indian man has the name manmeat, and that cows are sacred. Yes, I know, it is funny that foreign countries are... kinda like foreign countries. They do things differently there.

They’ve thrown in a cute Australian girl as the potential love interest, and lots of references to how cultural differences lead to wacky miscommunications. I have no idea why you would want to watch this show, there are already brilliant comedies set in offices. It’s in no way worthy of your time.

New TV 2010 - The Mega Review Part 2

The Event - NBC

Television networks love starting high concept sci-fi shows, with their over-arching mysteries and season long plots. This time last year, FlashForward was being touted as having a four year plan, and complex shady characters. It was dead by February. Starting these shows is fun... just give them a fancy pilot and a neat concept. But then it hit FlashForward... characters sat about being unpleasant and repetitively inactive. Real people stop watching. The show died, and nobody shed a tear. And now, a year later, we have a new high concept sci-fi mystery show. And The Event sure does have a fancy pilot.

The Event makes a fancy debut. The idea is that an ordinary (read: bland) young man is going on holiday with his ordinary (read: hot) girlfriend, and then a short while later, he is on a plane, with a gun. We don’t see what happened between these two scenes, and are meant to wonder – what did happen between these events? What is going on? Who even is he?

The Event looks like it would be a decent sci-fi story if told by an omnipotent, reliable narrator in chronological order. I know those were a lot of big words, so I will put it simple: this is a show which is told out of order, and by deliberately missing things out in order to create tension. Not knowing what is going on seems key to all the tension. Did you like it on Lost when Locke would say “come with me” and no-one would bother to ask “why?” or “where?” Well, this is that, but constantly. No-one tells anyone what is going on, and we are not told what is going on. And y’know what – I loved it. This was a good debut.

As a show, I will want to watch it next week, to see what is going on. It was the first pilot show of the year which left me with questions for next week. But my advice is to wait. Don’t bother watching the show until next summer. See what people make of it – see if it gets good. It should. And if it does, enjoy. But there is a decent chance it will fail, and it is not worth expending your precious time on a sinking ship.

Added to that, truth be told, this show is coming a tad too soon after Lost. That finale hurt me. That finale did not just ruin Lost, it killed any desire I may have to get invested in a sci-fi mystery show, only to finally have them pull out the most obvious answer, even after swearing for years that was not the answer, and undermining it for six years so that it makes no goddamn sense in the mythology of the show. The Event wants to be the lovechild of Lost and 24, fine, but that comes with baggage.

So here I say it – The Event is Aliens. It is all Aliens.

Mike & Molly – CBS

This is the most boringly average sitcom anyone has ever decided to make. Mike is an obese policeman. I don’t normally define people by their weight, but here it is everything about him. Every word, every action, every single thing, is based upon him being fat. And there is a girl, Molly, who is fat. She likes cake and has difficulty on the stairmaster. They meet at a weightwatchers meeting, and looks set to begin the most average romcom ever. But with the twist that they are fat.

There were a couple of jokes, and Mike & Molly seem like they could be interesting, maybe even funny, people, if only they would stop spending all of their time obsessing over how they are fat. I can see that! It is pretty obvious! You don’t need to keep reminding me, in case I forget!

If you feel like watching this show you need to reconsider your life.

$#*! My Dad Says - CBS

This is another CBS three camera sitcom, filmed in front of a live studio audience, but this has William Shatner as the father to his now adult children, who he is trying to reconnect to. There are funny sitcoms, filmed as though they were made twenty years ago, and they mostly were made twenty years ago. This is not a funny show. Every joke feels like it was flat packed from Ikea, and after dragging out the construction of each one as only The Shat can do, the actors stare into each other’s souls, whist waiting for the audience to stop having a fit laughing at their average zingers and put-downs. It is a painfully average show which will be dead by Christmas. But then that is what people have been hoping would happen to Two And A Half Men, and that is a CBS sitcom which is somehow still breathing.

If you really feel the need for an average sitcom about failing at being a dad and old age, then I can’t advise against this. It was slightly funnier that Mike & Molly, to its credit, but it was so heartless, so soulless, that it really doesn’t deserve your valuable time.

Lone Star - FOX

This is the best hour of television that the last few weeks have given me. It was amazing.

The concept is harder to explain, so please forgive me when I mess it up. Robert Allen is a career con man, who has been working with his dad on a long con, trying to get into the family that runs a big oil company. He has been doing this by marrying the daughter. At the same time, he has fallen in love with girl, living in a town which he conned into buying bad stock. He is trying to keep himself working between both of these lives, “trying to live in his own house of cards” and all the while, trying to figure out who he is and who he wants to be. Now, trust me when I say that this is the second time I am writing this, as my first attempt was three times as long and four times as confusing. Both of these lives, his cons and his dad and himself, they are all filled with real, rich characters, and with the potential for drama and excitement.

It is shot beautifully. There are a huge number of subtle things and subtle scene that tell you who each character is, and why they matter. I have never before seen such incredible use of time to give such a stong feeling for who these people are, and yet I never felt over whelmed.

If I keep going it will sound like gushing, so I had better the problems out of the way now. Becuase there are so many characters introduced, the two women in Robert’s never get a chance to do much. But the bigger problem is that many people will be turned off by what Bob does. He is a con-man, who lies and steals from people, and lies and cheats on the women he loves. That alone will turn some people off. But the biggest problem for me is that this show reeks of being in trouble right from the start. It has been given a terrible timeslot, and has been given almost no advertising. (This is par for the course for a truly good show on Fox.) Partially, I guess that is because it took me almost two-hundred words to sum it up in basic terms, and I left out a whole bunch. And it doesn’t exactly have a name that sells itself, like The Event.

But even if this show doesn’t make it to next year, I cannot wait for next week. This was the best hour of drama so far, and you really don’t want to miss it.

No Ordinary Family - ABC

This is another of the big budget new shows to air, one of the ones with a high concept premise, and recognisable faces in the lead roles. Michael Chiklis, from The Shield, and Julie Benz, who was Rita on Dexter, are the parents in an ordinary American suburban family. They have two teenage kids, (who are both paint-by-numbers nothings in this first episode), and decide to take a family holiday. There is an incident. They get superpowers.

The Dad, and I am going to have to call them by their roles as I can’t remember any of them being called by their names in the entire pilot, becomes Superman as he was in the 1930s. Y’know, he can leap over a building but can’t fly, and can catch a bullet but isn’t bullet-proof. He is also depressed about being a stay-at-home dad with a part time job helping the police. His wife, who is a very successful career scientist, with a speciality that is never made clear, can run really fast. Because it is a metaphor for how she lives her life running through everything, as she repeatedly reminds us. While brooding. The two kids don’t get to do much, and their abilities don’t start to come through until the end, so I will leave that surprise for you. The only problem I had was that they are all so... depressing. I get that these people need to be flawed is they are to have character arcs, and y’know, grow as people. Perfect people are boring, we can all relate to that. But don’t be so depressed all the time. Stop complaining about your lives all the time. It gets very boring, very quick. Thanks in advance.

There is a hint of a conspiracy, which I predict to be painfully dull, and the possibility for monster-of-the-week averageness to be combined with family melodrama. So that is the usual. This family is like watching The Incredibles, but with none of their charm. (The show throws a couple of The Incredibles references up for you, if you keep your eyes open.) Most of all, it looks like a decent show. It doesn’t have the darkness, or the heart of the first season of heroes, but like it could be its own thing. It could be a show about family, who can do superhero things, and it gives the impression of being something I want to watch, not just of being something I feel like I should want to watch.

P.S – I had barely finished writing this when news broke that Lone Star has been cancelled! After two (critically acclaimed by the way) episodes! Seriously, people, what gives? All of you should still watch it, says I, because it really was that good. Looks like I will be crying myself to sleep tonight. Good bye, Lone Star.

New TV 2010 - The Mega Review Part 1

I love this time of year, as it is the beginning of a new year of American Television. In the USA, tons of big new shows premiere within less than one month in “fall.” These premiers are littered with average crime procedurals and terrible sitcoms that will get cancelled by February. I will watch those to mock them. But the real excitement comes from watching to find the surprise hit show – that show that you take in close to your heart. A new Pushing Daisies, or Middleman. And, spaced out in the crush are the heavy hitters; the big new shows made by big names and with big stars. This is the most exciting fortnight in American Television, and the excitement runs like Christmas morning – where you can see a whole bunch o’ presents, but are not yet sure what they are.

So this season I decided to set myself a challenge. To watch, and review, the debut episodes of every new scripted show, as listed on the tvguide.com fall preview guide. All twenty-three of them.


That includes shows you should be excited for, like The Event or Broadwalk Empire, and the ones that will surely be deader than a dead parrot. If I laugh even once at Outsourced, it will be a shock.

And so it begins:


Terriers - FX

This is the sort of show which should be incredibly formulaic. A pair of middle-aged unlicenced private detectives, get hired every week to go and... privately... detect something. One is younger than the other, and the older is more jaded, having an ex-wife and an ex-drinking problem. But the show feels much more endearing than that. It works hard to not play simply into a formula, clearly channelling Veronica Mars. It has the same fast, quippy dialogue, the same fake identities and a cute dog. Oh, and it’s hinting at a longer running mystery. So that is all good.

The tone of the show is great, with moments of hilarity and seriousness, and it has a certain darkness that makes it clear these characters are not living a dream. Oh course, a show can’t be judged on just one meeting, and that is one of the big problems I just know I am going to keep running up against in this “challenge”, but you can get a sense of whether a show is worth a second date, and this is definitely a show worth watching – especially if you are a Mars fan.


Nikita – The CW

Based on La Femme Nikita, “but remade for the 21st century” as so many new shows are, this show is a spy thriller, based upon the titular Nikita, a female ex-assassin who has gone rouge from “The Division”, with a dual plot based upon Alex, a new recruit at Division. This means we can see our agency of assassins from the outside (Nikita), and the inside (Alex), and I presume the show is going to become a complex mess of agents, double-agents and triple-agents which I'd look forward to being delighted by. Hopefully, this will be just as much fun as it was in Alias, and the spy missions will feel fresh and exciting, as it looks like they will be what the show rests on. The side characters have some nice sparky lines, with The Tech Geek and The Gruff Boss looking like fun, and here’s hoping that the show becomes something worth seeking out. Especially as Nikita herself, played by Maggie Q, looks like she’ll be great to watch.

But then again, remakes of old shows often fail to do the original justice, relying too much on the old name, and female led shows tyically have to work hard to match the viewing figures of shows led by guys. And this is not a show without flaws. The pilot episode felt rushed, trying to cram in all the characters without letting us get a feel for any of them, leaving them all clichéd and uninteresting. I cannot in all honesty tell you a single personality trait of any of them – and that is not a good sign. And it is going to have to try pretty hard to be even nearly as good as, or as fun as, Alias. And my spy needs are already more than met by Chuck, which doubles as being hilarious, so an out-and-out spy show will have to work extra hard to earn my loyalty.

I would not be in the least surprised if this burns itself out quickly, relying heavily on ridiculous missions and Nikita fanservice, and is gone by this time next year. Anyone even remember the Bionic Woman remake? But then again, this could be the beginnings of a fun show, once it settles into stride. I will feel I’ll give it a month or so to see how it settles, for I'm still hopeful.


Hellcats – The CW

There's this thing, the Bechdel Test, which is used as a sort of litmus test for female presence is movie and television. In order to pass, the film or show must include at least two women, and they must have at least one conversation about something other than men, or a man. When formed in 1985, this wasn’t some die-hard demand of femininist ultras, but just to draw attention to how many shows completely fail this test.

Hellcats passes with flying colours. The premise of this comedy-drama is that a snarky narcissistic female law student loses her scholarship, and the only way she can stay at University is by gaining a cheerleading scholarship. She passes try-outs, meets a new friend and new rival, and starts competitive cheerleading. Yes, it is laughably formulaic, but that may not be such a horrible thing.

So, as you have probably gathered, this is a show about cheerleading. To its credit, it decides to treat it as a serious sport, (which the most dangerous teen sport probably deserves,) and looks like training and winning competitions is going to be more of a focus than the teen-drama stuff. And it seems well made, with some actually funny jokes and some nice Whedon-esque dialogue. The characters all seem distinguishable, and interesting, which is better than *shudder* Glee managed.

I have no problem with this if it does become popular, and it probably deserves it. But it is a teen drama about cheerleading. So, yeh... If I was a fifteen year old girl, I would probably watch it. But I’m not, so...


Haven - SyFy

The American SyFy channel are making a real move to step up in the world, and make their own original programming – which is a move I truly hope works for them. Any network who are focused on producing quality genre shows get my support all the way. They are not new to the business, being the guys who produced the best years of Stargate, produced Battlestar Galactica, and who’ve since created Stargate Universe, Caprica, and Warehouse 13.

Their new show this summer is Haven, a supernatural series based on a Steven King novel. A female FBI agent with a mysterious past gets sent to investigate a routine case in the sleepy town of Haven, who starts to uncover townsfolk with supernatural abilities. The first episode is a fairly paint by numbers affair, with the town and the characters slowly introduced. The quick wit of the dialogue slips by, flowing mostly unnoticed, hinting that it might become something later on. The characters all make an appearance, but only give vague clues as to who they might become, and the plot of the show is still unclear to me. Is this a “buddy cops investigate the supernatural” show? Is it a “Person investigates their own parents and past” show? Is it a “supernatural conspiracy” show?

You see, I come back to that difficulty of reviewing any pilot episode, of how little time these shows are given to make an impression. Haven feels like it is dragging its heels slightly. After the pilot I should know who people are and what they are doing. The fact that I just don’t makes this a hard show to recommend.

Despite the pilot giving little sense of what this show is, I can say it’s very nicely made, and I was never bored. But it didn’t fill me with a need to watch the next episode either. It was convincing enough to let me give it a second chance next week, but not enough for me to give it a shout out. It may become something, I have a feeeling it might, and here’s hoping it will... but then again, it may not.

A Song Of Fire And Ice

I just started reading A Game Of Thrones, and it is very, very epic. If it keeps up like this, it will be getting the first Best Book You're Not Reading.

This book is the first in the Song of Fire and Ice series, which is written by George R R Martin, and is set in a fictional medieval land, which acts very much like War of The Roses England. The book is about the key families in the royal court, and the power struggle that is emerging. That may not sound as good as it is, and I assure you, I am just selling it short, because it is truly amazing. Anyhoo, more of this to come once I have finished.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that the book is amazing, and there is a TV adaptation coming next year, which you should really keep an eye out for.

Game of Thrones. Remember that name.

Futurama

So, in case you have not heard, there are new episodes of Futurama coming. And they are now just one week away! If you were wondering, it's moving from Fox to Comedy Central in the USA, which will hopefully turn out to be no bad thing. Best of all, all the original voice-cast are back, even tho' that looked unlikely at one stage. Woo-hoo!

These are going to be the first new episodes for seven years, so as you can imagine, I cannot wait.

There is some justice in the world after all.

I Bring Terrible News.

So, this is the time of year when all the big American TV networks decide whether or not to bring back their shows for next year. As a result, this is a tense time for people who like our televisions, as at any moment, news may break that a show we love have been cancelled. That a show we enjoyed will not continue. That the show is dead. That is why this is a tense time. Because every year, we get bad news. Sad news.

This year is no different. Some shows have already fallen. Some are safe. Others still hang in the balance. I’ll give you the headlines. Chuck has survived for another year, despite things not looking good for a while. But that is it for good news. Seriously. Every other show I liked has been hit by a terrible fate. Here is the bad news: Better off Ted had died. Scrubs has been sent to the farm. Heroes has been turned into glue. Legend of the Seeker has gone to meet its maker. FlashForward is no more. Dollhouse is finished. What with 24 and Lost already coming to an end this month, that is a pretty huge cull from my TV life. There’s only one piece of solice to take from this, which is some of those shows had been slowly dying for months now. But as a whole, this is some terribly saddening news to hit all at once.

Those were some great shows. Man, a couple of those deserve to get their own Best Show You’re Not Watching at some stage. But it is hard to say that individually they come as a surprise. Better Off Ted was a lucky renewal last year. Despite having an amazing script, and a cult following, it has had mediocre ratings, and looked like it was coming to an end. The scripts in the second season felt tired, you could feel that the jokes flow not as fast as before. But it was still a delight, and to know it will not be coming back hurts. But at least it doesn't leave mysteries unsolved. FlashForward arrived heralded as "the new Lost", with a detailed four-year plan, a complex mystery and complex characters. Instead we got an formulaic show where literally nothing happened for weeks, with a central mystery that didn't make sense, and which never developed. When it restarted after Christmas, I never got the energy to start watching again. And now knowing that it will never get the time to answer the questions is decided to build up, it feels like a huge let down.

We already knew that 24 and Lost were coming to an end, and those two great shows have been winding down in the last few months, which has been great fun. Heroes on the other hand, has been such a huge crapfest for such a long time now, it is hard to believe it has survived this long. It is only because that first season was one of the best things I have ever watched on television, that I still kept watching. Even tho' it has been kicking me in the nuts for years now. This is the one bit of news that actually comes as a bit of a relief, as I am now free.

Now, Scrubs has been going for longer than I thought it would. I thought it was finished two years ago, but then it moved network to ABC. Then last year they finished it off, JD left, and it looked again like it had finished. But it came back this year with a new setting and a new cast, and y'know what, it was funny. Not perfect, I concede, not perfect like before, but still funny. And now it has finished. Dollhouse also finished, but it never deserved a second season. It is only because it has the godlike Joss Whedon name attached that it got a second chance, and I never did catch up, tho' I still intend to at some stage. Oh, and the wonderfully formulaic Seeker has also not been renewed, much to my dissapointment.

So there we have it. In the last few days, this terrible news broke. Terrible, sad news. Hate to break it to you, but these were some wonderful shows. And they are no more.

Best Show Your Not Watching - April

Archer

There is something about James Bond. The way he gets all the girls, the witty puns, the gadgets, the excitement, the violence, all while visiting exotic locations and being completely self interested. And yet he is our hero because he is completely charming. James Bond, however, is not hilarious.

Archer is a spy who is not charming. He is the most self-obsessed, the most arrogant and he has more mother issues than could fill a transatlantic hydrogen airship. He is hilarious.

Each animated episode is based around some mission becoming available for the ISIS intelligence service, with Archer usually being the agent assigned, often involving his ex-girlfriend, and fellow spy, Lana Kane. And it is hilarious.

See, these missions will always be all about the conflict. Not just between the spy and those spied upon, but between Archer and Lana, Archer and his Mother, Archer and Lana’s new boyfriend Cyril, or Lana and her new boyfriend Cyril. This conflict has the kind of fast paced dialogue that makes me disappointed my life is not as brilliantly scripted as this, just so I could have lines like “I didn’t invent the turtleneck, Lana, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck. The tactalneck.” That is just hilarious.

Of course, I couldn’t recommend this to anyone, what with it being so deliberately offensive and raunchy. Seriously. But that is why Archer is so great, because every situation goes so far beyond what you would ever consider acceptable, and yet remains so relatable. I may never have broken my cover trying to get the plans for a new nuclear submarine, while a sniper covers my escape from a Cuban hit squad, but I have definitely spilled something on my favourite shirt and known it was gonna stain, and be ruined. It just wasn’t blood on my linen shirt. Cos that would be hilarious.

More on FlashForward

So we have hit the midseason of FlashForward. Y’know, that show where everyone sees themselves exactly what they will be doing in 6 months and gets really worked up over what is going to happen.

Every time I watch, I see just how much this is a post-Lost show. By which, what I mean is that this show is doing everything possible to be like Lost. Mysterious characters with mysterious intentions. More questions than answers. Time-travel confused dialogue. British actors. But the problem is that Lost spent years building the mythos, whilst getting rid of all those viewers that were too retarded, or who couldn’t be bothered to pay attention. You don’t know what lies in the shadow of the statue? No worries, ‘cos Lost is no longer a show for you. The final season of Lost is a payoff for the hardcore. For people who have watched, and importantly, learned from, the show since the beginning. FlashForward does not have that. And so, it is trying to be the new Lost, but for everyone. And that makes it dumb itself down. And that sucks.

Anyway, there was no real point to this babbling stream of consciousness, ‘specially if you watch neither Lost or FlashForward. Having just watched the midseason finale, it seems I shall be a couple of weeks without FlashForward. But having watched a fair bit of it now, it seems to be a decent show. Oh, and by the way, Lost restarts in February.

FlashForward - Pilot

So, there was new show on TV that debuted this week. FlashForward seems to be the show that ABC is clearly designed to be the next Lost, and from the first episode it looks like it may well be. Big unexplained things happen, there is a large ensemble cast with secrets, mysterious figures are seemingly controlling things, unexplained things are explained with more questions. And since Lost is ending next spring, I am perfectly happy to have a new show ready to fill that void.

First of all, the premise. On one normal day, everyone on Earth blacks out. Everyone passes out. This is a bad thing; planes fall from the sky, cars crash, and jugglers drop whatever was being juggled. As people react to these events, they start to remember that while they blacked out they all saw visions. Visions that agree with other people's visions - people they have never met. They all see what they will be doing exactly six months down the line. The FBI sets up an inter-agency taskforce to find patterns and links between people's flashforwards, led by our main protagonist.

Of course, as soon as you start to get into predicting the future in a sci-fi show, you encounter all kinds of problems. If I saw myself in the future wearing a hat, I could just use my "free will" thing to just not wear a hat, surely? Are people who saw their future now unkillable? And all these people who saw sports results... are you telling me that all those sportsmen are just going to let those results come true? And does seeing the future make it the future? If I saw myself in the future writing a book, would not that spur me on to write a book that I would not have bothered starting otherwise? Then can I just tell my publisher, "don't worry, I saw it was a bestseller, no need to edit it." If you are going to open a big can of worms like time-travel, things are goin' to get very complicated very quickly.

Because of course, this is the big one. If I got a flash forwards into a generic point in six months time, I would most likely be doing somethin' of almost no importance. Sleeping, eating, or thinking about eating or slepping most likely. But once I have seen the future, that moment takes on a huge importance, and I would put up a banner and balloons and stuff to welcome past me's consciousness. Do you follow? Seeing the future changes the future. And seeing a specific moment in the furute definitely changes that moment.

Can.... open. Worms.... everywhere.

And, taking more lessons from Lost, as people come around there is a random unexplained animal just wandering about. Not a polar bear, or a horse, but a kangaroo. I do hope this kanagroo was of importance.


That ensemble cast seems to be acceptable. So far they just seemed to be a bunch of random stereotypes, but then, hey, so did Lost's, and look how god damned awesome they turned out. It seems far too early to start talking about these guys yet tho'. Except for Demetri, who was clearly lying about something big. Maybe he is in on the plot and wasn’t unconscious with everyone else. That explains why when Mark woke up, Demetri had gone from the car. And who was that dude at the baseball game?

So, what I guess I am trying to say is that was a pretty damn awesome start to a show, that gave me almost no clue as to whether it will end up as a good show or not. Awesome!

Two. Greatest. Clips. Ever!

Battlestar Galactica - The Finale

Well, the show is finished. At first I was just tuning in to the space battles, but then I started to get hooked on the themes. For a show primarily based on the last humans fighting killer robots, there sure were a lot of themes. Torture, Politics, Power, Terrorism, Justice, Rights - hell, there was a lot of morality in there.

See, some of the best episodes of any TV show that I have ever watched came from Galactica. With the Pegasus and New Caprica storylines, I was enthralled. Those were simply incredible. Looking back on it, as a whole, it was a fantastic show. Not flawless, not perfect, but brilliant despite, nay because, of it.

Problem was the finale. When I watched it, I liked it. Problem is, that after a thinking about it for a few days, its plot failings keep rising in my mind.

'Twas a disappointing end. The "answers" just confirmed what we already knew, and not in a good way. Imagine if the answer of Lost was indeed "purgatory", how disappointed would everyone be... still, it was a valiant attempt. Just a shame they never lived up to the superb earlier episodes; to the build-up they had given it.

I can empathise that the writers had no idea where they were going, that they had written themselves into too many corners, and that is a huge shame. Once again, this is a series where I try to forget the finale, the answers, when remembering the early episodes.

SPOILER

See, I liked it when it was a gritty sci-fi action show that set out to plausibly show people reacting in 'realistic' feeling ways to the extreme circumstances they found themselves in, using the familiar old premise from the original BSG show. Finding out I was watching the kind of show which has literal angels, and where God is the final answer to all the questions raised over the series, was an incredible letdown.

Don't get me wrong, the finale was good TV - it just doesn't fit with what I wanted from the ending of Galactica. Oh well...