I was scared. I think that is a safe, possibly even understated, summary.
I had only one choice, there was only one university I liked, that I had visited, that offered the course I wanted. Exeter University wanted me to get an A in History, which would be hard for I had only gotten a B last year, an A in English, which was safe due to my good previous results, and therefore insecure due to overconfidence, and an A doing intensive politics, two years in one, which no-one has ever got at Richmond College.
My options were limited. If I, realistically, failed top get 3As, I could go through the mayhem of clearing, getting a course I did not really want at a Uni I did know, take a gap year where I stay at home and get a boring job, or go to Portsmouth Uni, a fine, but not top, University. I could see all these failed lives stretching out from this one moment. All my fault, I sat the exams, I day-dreamt in class, I did less work that I could have.
Therefore, scared. Unable to sleep terrified, could also be applicable. Unable to move, due to dread, is not much of a stretch. Like I am about to jump out of a plane, and remember I have knitted my own parachute. Out of wet spaghetti. Hopefully by now you can grasp my fear.
So I met up with some friends early in the morning, and we sat on the bus. This bit was tense. It seems that the idea they have for results day is that you queue a lot. You queue to get into the building, then queue to get your name, then queue to get your results. This means that when you finally get your results you are so shocked at the queuing to have ended, it takes a moment for you to process that you are now free to wander, in a queue-less environment.
So, my results. I got an A in English. This I was confident in, for I got 90/90 in my Hamlet exam last year, and 117/120 in my Poetry & Prose in January, but as I said before, confidence can mean fail. Luckily, I got my first A.
History. I messed up my exam on the Russian revolution last year, so I needed some strong results this year to build me up. I got my A. Two for Two! Making me happier, in advanced extension history, I got myself a Merit, which I am amazingly pleased with, for that was a hard exam.
But now for the tense bit. Intensive politics, studying both my first and second year at once, which no student has ever got an A before. well, now one has. I got my third A. My results for the first half were brilliant.
So, Three As. I am off to Exeter, and I am feeling great. Things are going well all around. Michael and Jon also have great results, getting into their Universities, Jon to Cambridge. So did most of the other people I met, Ross is in to Brunel. To make things even better, we celebrated with one last Creamichoc from the vending machines, and Jon got double change! Free Creamichoc!
So I came home, all buzzin'. Phoned family members, who all were mighty pleased. Then, off to James' house for a barbeque. Saw people I had not seen in ages, ate burgers, and got drunk. played drunk football, and came home. This was one of the best days ever.
In one emotion - relief. I get to go to Exeter. Wack-O!